- Do your beliefs limit you? Lawyers have to practice reason. Sometimes the reasons are against you when they take the shape of excuses, respectively negative beliefs. When you use I CAN’T because, ex: I’m not or I don’t have time or this is a lawyer’s life, you are limiting your beliefs. No matter the reason you have, but you have to think something, when you say the world I’m, you also limit yourself from moving toward your goals.
Our purpose in elawvation is to open more perspectives to lawyers and help them to move to reclaim their right to live life with joy and personal satisfactions, even if they have success, this means for us being successful. This is our belief.
Our limiting beliefs can cause us to miss out on the things that we want most and our empowering beliefs can elevate us toward the life we want to live. In order to change your beliefs, you have to be aware of the source. The number one source is our past. People tend to develop attachment to the past. Especially bad experiences from the past that are holding you back.
2. Shame – Did you ever ask yourself how you can overcome the feeling of failure?
It is described as a painful experience of the entire self, when individuals attribute their negative behavior to their own lack of ability. This emotion is escalating in the feeling of not feeling good enough. What I usually encourage my clients in my coaching session to do is to count their successful results, also to remain themselves all reason of gratitude. Instead of punishing yourself and thinking that this is the way to be motivated, you better start practicing these small exercises, self kindness and appreciation. It’s the answer to overcoming these emotional blockages. It’s the way to stop the escalation toward other negative emotions like guilt.
Let’s look at how Brené Brown, a shame and vulnerability researcher, discusses shame. She writes,
“I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.
This shows us how shame could be the source of feeling sucked and disconnected from our true potential.
- Have you ever observed this feeling in yourself? This is a common feeling for lawyers. We need to prove the truth. Sometimes we work so hard to prove that we are good enough and this makes us find ourselves in the same situation. This comes from the childhood trauma of judgements or disapproval from others. Because perfectionists fear being unable to complete a task perfectly, they put it off as long as possible. So, one of the symptoms of perfectionism is procrastination. One of the main blocks to productivity created by perfectionists is a tendency to procrastinate. Again, some more negative emotions are escalating, such as law self esteem. Here’s what some study reveals: 55% of people with low self-esteem expect others to complete tasks and chores exactly according to their preference.
Perfectionists tend to fear disapproval and rejection from others and this could be the reason for taking actions.
Getting things done can be overwhelming sometimes. For many lawyers, the idea of doing a task in a less-than-perfect way may lead them to say, “Forget the whole thing!” This is a circle of feeling stuck.
Breaking down tasks into smaller tasks not only makes them more manageable, but leads to more frequent feelings of accomplishment as you cross each one off your list. Just start doing things and stay focused!
- Lack of EI (emotional intelligence)
I think the profession of lawyers, as a psychologist, is one of the most demanding when it comes EI. As you know I practice professions and the need of holding space to other people’s emotions is always present. When the clients come to you with their own emotions, you have to be able to manage their emotions, but first of all you have to manage yours. Especially lawyers don’t give so much importance to emotional intelligence when they face huge time pressure. They don’t realize that things are not flowing and they feel stuck. Even more, they feel disconnected and behave from survival mode that leads to stress and health problems, the reason for feeling stuck and not productive. Meditation is the easiest way to access your emotional intelligence in such a simple way. If you start the day with the intention, as we have created our 7 Day Meditation, immediately you will notice the confidence of being proactive instead of reactive, being able to recognize and manage emotions, yours and others.
You probably ask, as a lawyer, how it is possible to deal with the many forms of stress and recover from the mental or emotional fatigue that keeps us from performing using our full potential?
Daniel Goleman believes that our brain is malleable and we can manage our emotional life with our intelligence by:
- being aware of our moods and thoughts about our moods.
- recognizing when emotions are flooding us and managing those emotions.
- achieving the ability to deal with many forms of stress and reducing that stress.
- mobilizing positive emotions to drive us toward our goals.
In our ULS, in the first Module, Be You, we have a dedicated lesson that helps you to reduce stress, to reframe negative behaviors and increase resilience.
5. Not seeking support
We all know that one of the lawyer’s stigmas is not asking for support. I’m wondering if you carry this in your profession? The problem is that this stigma holds them back. As I mentioned above, one of the aspects of being a psychologist is to continuously practice self development. As a lawyer, not only can you manage stress better, but, if I see my clients, it is part of their routine to have a coach. This gives them the stability and confidence to move forward. Take a few moments and see your life, where are you today and where you would like to be in the future. Then, take some moments, be honest with yourself, and go into your past and observe if you’ve evolved or do you find yourself at the same point. Also, take some moments and visualize how it would be if you would ask for help and be able to move forward faster and feel good about your life. Would you ask for help?
I know that lawyers can deal with so many situations, and people, but we are human beings and together we make the economy of our relationships work by supporting each other. When I chose to help lawyers, I knew that being there, is a benefit to be empathic more with my clients. If you have read the whole article, I will reward your commitment to your wellbeing with a free coaching session. You can book it here.
